Boy Oh Boyers

In anticipation of Christmas visits to our beloved family, I've been practicing names with Rowan. He hasn't mastered grandparents yet (that is to say he won't say their names when asked, but he certainly can pick out all his grandparents from a photo lineup when I name them!) Anyway, yesterday while we flipped through photos at breakfast, Rowan was in a particularly accommodating mood, and he named Angel, Mommy, Daddy, and Uncle Tim (though he only says "Uncle") while I recorded him. It's one of the rare times I've gotten him on video actually saying the things he usually walks around saying throughout the day. Enjoy! Click here to go to the picasa album that contains the video.

Right now, as I type, Rowan is having a little Cheerio's snack. It's not his usual snacktime, but he was hungry. Or so he claimed. It turns out that what he really wanted to do was play a little sharing game with Angel. He's reaching into his little bowl, taking out an "O", putting it in his mouth, and letting it hang out halfway. Then he's reaching up and getting another one and laying it down in front of Angel and saying, "Snack" (mumbling it, around the Cheerio in his own mouth). As soon as she takes the one he laid on the carpet for her, he shoves the one in his mouth all the way in and exclaims, "Mmm!" Then he repeats the process. I know I should probably put a stop to it since we really don't allow Angel to have table food, but I just can't bring myself to end the cuteness. :-)

Speaking of putting an end to something, you might have the impression from a couple of months ago that we ended the nighttime bottle routine when Rowan was 15 months old, as the pediatrician recommended. Well, we intended to. I mean, I meant to. But then, it was just such a relaxing little time, and well...I decided it wasn't hurting anything. So we've continued the nighttime bottle until three days ago when we finally stopped it. We still offer a cup of milk before bed, and Rowan hasn't complained about the nipple-free delivery system. What a relief! This will free up cabinet space (no more bottles), dishwasher space (no more bottle basket), and counter space (no more bottle drying rack). I can't believe we didn't do it sooner, but hey...things happen fast enough, I figure. No need to do the growin' up before everybody's ready.

Well, off to make dinner!

Rowan and I head to the airport today. We're going to Georgia for a week to visit Grandmommy, Papa, Aunt Julie, Uncle Bobby, and the rest of the family down there. I have a paper deadline shortly after Christmas, and things weren't progressing as well as they needed to in our "normal" setting, so (as I've done twice in the past with great success) I'll be sequestering myself upstairs at my parents' house and working until my vision gets blurry each day, while Rowan gets being spoiled unspeakably at the hands of his loving relatives.

That's all well and good, but this post is really about breakfast. See, this morning our usual breakfast choices for Rowan were eliminated for various reasons. Bananas and Cheerio's, no because that'll be the go-to snack while we're in the airport. Oatmeal, no, because it takes too long and he slept in and therefore was hungry *now*. Something new? Something different? So I made cheese toast for him and sliced it into little "sticks", and gave him a bowl of apple sauce and a cup of milk. He looked at it all with skepticism at first, but quickly dug in. It was a moment after he had started happily eating that I looked over and observed what he was doing: he was dipping the cheese toast sticks into the apple sauce, wearing a grin the whole time! This is funny because it was only a couple of days ago that we allowed him to start trying a bit of dipping sauce. It's amazing how well he'll eat some chicken when he can dip it in a little sweet & sour. Yes, he did try to pick up the sauce container and drink from it, but eventually he realized he wasn't supposed to do that. It was very surreal watching my child pick up a dainty little piece of chicken, dip it carefully into sauce so as not to drop the tasty morsel, and place it accurately onto his tongue and give a satisfied, "mmm" while he chewed. Wow, how far we've come from having to help him pick up a Cheerio because he hadn't yet mastered the "pincher grip"! Onward and...er...dipward, people! :-)

Wow, I've fallen down on these Pictures of the Day a lot lately. Sorry about that, everyone! It is very important to me for our friends and family all over to be able to keep up with Rowan. I know you guys love him so much. But naturally, Rowan himself is a higher priority than Rowan's blog, so sometimes I guess you'll just have to wait. ;-)

We had a great trip to Georgia. Rowan spent precious time with Grandmommy, Papa, Aunt Julie, and Uncle Bobby. I'll have some pictures of that forthcoming, I'm sure. We cut our trip a little short and drove home very late Saturday night, though, because Rowan started wheezing and coughing and I knew he needed the nebulizer that I had left back in NC. He's needed the nebulizer (which is a machine that pushes air through a mask while vaporizing an inhaled steriod drug that helps with inflammation in the airway) a few times after getting colds. I should have known to bring it, but it never made it onto the packing list. Anyway, he goes to the doctor this afternoon just to be sure everything is alright. He's taking a sound nap now, and he has played well this morning so I feel confident he doesn't have any serious secondary infection. Hopefully I'll have time to post some new pictures soon.

There's a new picture of the day for today, and here's a little video of Rowan playing in the leaves with Papa when we were down in Georgia.

We've been having a marvelous time visiting Tom's family in Illinois. There's been quite a bit of traveling, but overall our approach (which didn't involve any connecting flights) worked well. Admittedly, picking up our rental car in Chicago when it was -4 degrees was quite an interesting experience. Here's Rowan enjoying his rental car seat in true Rowan fashion!

It was quite cold at our destination as well, but not cold enough to keep snow from turning into what the weatherfolk call "winter mix". It put a thick sheet of ice on the driveway at Meemaw's house, and in anticipation for Uncle Dave's arrival yesterday evening, Uncle Rob and Daddy when out to shovel away at the ice. Rowan got bundled up in his warm clothes and new snow boots and tromped around into the front yard where fluffy snow had been coated with a sheet of ice. He quickly picked up on the fact that he'd slip on the ice but if he stomped so the ice cracked, he could stand in the snow and not fall down. He loved it! Here's a shot of Rowan with Uncle Rob.

Illinois weather is very interesting. It was absolutely freezing (below zero) when we arrived, and today it'll be in the 50's. There's snow and ice all around that is slowly starting to drip away. Yesterday Rowan and I went outside with Uncle Dave, Uncle Rob, and Meghan (Uncle Rob's girlfriend). Daddy has a little cold, so he stayed inside, and Papaw took a spill on the ice earlier in the day so he had to stay in and rest his aching back. :( Rowan and I went down the hill and slid across the frozen lake on a sled! He loved it.

I know I'm a postin' machine these days, but there are so many folks we couldn't be with on Christmas, the least we can do is keep you updated on what we're doing. Here's a video of Rowan playing a little peek-a-boo with Papaw. You can see his new Thomas the Tank Engine train set on the coffee table.

We've made it home, safe and sound. Our flight from Chicago was delayed slightly, but once we were on board, Rowan chowed down on one of Aunt Sarah's delicious raisin muffins and then reluctantly agreed to take his nap. His understanding of cause and effect is remarkable now: he wanted me to sing to him, and I said I'd sing if he laid his head on my chest and closed his eyes. He did!

Here's a plane picture for your viewing enjoyment. Be warned, I'm about two weeks out from one of the biggest deadlines of my academic year, so if the pictures of the day lapse, you know why. I promise to try not to let it happen, though. Love and New Year's blessings to you all!

This night, many of our friends are celebrating the year 2008 turning to the year 2009. We've had a peaceful evening at home. Granted Georgia Tech is presently getting creamed in football by LSU, but I won't fry that little fish here. I have high hopes of staying up to watch that sparkling ball drop in Times Square, and I'm nestled on the air bed on the living room floor, warm fire to my right, woeful football game on the screen in front of me, Christmas tree glowing in the corner. Tom wants to go to sleep earlier than I, and with no television in our bedroom the option for blissful sleep tonight was this air mattress arrangement. Quite fun, actually. Rowan is sleeping peacefully after a full day that included learning the word "robot" (he watched part of Wall-E with intense fascination). While we were in the rocker, Rowan requested three bedtime songs instead of one. The time we spend in the rocker these days is entirely different from those times of rocking him when he was an infant. It's even more precious now because he's completely capable of scooting down off my lap and going to play. Instead he chooses to sit with me and rock and sing. I don't take that privilege for granted. I'm very thankful for many things, and I do hope I mention them often enough that there is no doubt of it. But now, on to what I need to lament.

Morning gives way to evening. The sun rises, then after a full day, it sets. I know there's a lot to be had in the day, and there's a lot to be said for enjoying a sunset. But right now, lamenting the setting sun is what I need to do.

A few days ago I watched Mamaw see Rowan. This woman raised my husband's father and was an integral part of my husband's childhood as well. In this way she is responsible for the essence of my life as I know it. Mamaw is unassuming, approachable, and sometimes intentionally silly. She loves her children, grandchildren, and their families passionately. When she looks at my child, she sees a third generation that came from her. She looks at him in a way that only a great-grandmother can. It's a look my Grammies, another of Rowan's great-grandparents, also had in her eyes when she saw him. As much as my love for Rowan consumes me, consumes every fiber of everything I am, I realize as the years go by there will be even more of me to be consumed by this love -- more experiences, more wisdom, and a broader viewpoint. As his mother, I couldn't see him through Mamaw's, Grandma Rickard's, or Grammies' eyes; I can only hope to have a full enough life so that I can give that look to my own great-grandchildren one day.

Still, the arrival of this new year marks a most unwelcome change for me. Until tomorrow, it was only "earlier this year" that I last spoke with and hugged my Grammies. When that clocks strikes midnight, it becomes "last year" that she was last with me, "last year" that she answered the phone for one of what was usually several phone calls each day. It will be "last year" that she died and left me here to raise her great grandson, my own life lonelier without her. Time marches on, unstoppable, and Grammies will only become a more distant memory with each day. It won't matter what I say to Rowan, how often I tell him about her or show him some gift she gave him. She's removed from him to a level of abstraction that I can never cure. The past must fade so the future can come. The sun must set after it rises.

Somehow I feel like I ought to tell you, whoever you are reading these words, that I am an optimistic, purposeful woman who doesn't mope about letting sorrow steal the present day. Rather, I embrace my staunch refusal to indulge in the forgetfulness of a new generation. I embrace the pain I feel now, the tears that flow, because they shine a bright light of remembrance on the scarcity of breath. I am determined to make it true that this stinging awareness of my own setting sun will cause me to open my eyes wide, spread my arms, and soak up every ray of sunshine I'm blessed to have on me during my life's daytime.

No, I could not have dreamed how bright and warm it would be, being here. I could not have imagined, even with all the love I have known, the love I would feel right now. In this house, I am utterly overwhelmed. In my life, overwhelmed that Love moves through me despite my many flaws and weaknesses. With so few days to be had, shine, day. Shine, sun. Shine.