Boy Oh Boyers

It's been an interesting trip this time. Rowan and I left Tuesday for the Nashville airport. We met Meemaw (Tom's mom Jill) there; she had flown from Illinois. We spent the afternoon with some family in Murfreesboro: my Aunt Pat and Uncle Donnie, cousin Burge and his daughters Ashlyn and Amanda, cousin Bradley and his wife Holly and new daughter Hanna, and cousin Brandon! It was tons of fun seeing everyone. The next day we made the drive to Chattanooga where I was to present a research paper at a conference. Jill's parents, Grandma and Grandpa Rickard, drove all the way from Florida to Chattanooga to meet us, so it was another wonderful family reunion. But the following morning I woke up feeling pretty awful, and by mid-morning (right during the conference opening keynote) I realized I was *extremely* sick with some kind of stomach virus, and if I didn't get medical attention I'd probably end up passing out and being hauled off in an ambulance. So I drove myself to the nearest hospital, spent the entire day being screened for things (like gallbladder problems, various infections, etc.) and getting medicine and fluids through an IV. I went back to the hotel in a separate room since I had a pretty high fever, then yesterday Rowan rode back to Nashville with his Meemaw, Great-Grandpa & Great-Grandpa while I drove myself on the short road trip, making multiple very necessary stops. I made it safely, paid the valet to park the car, and went straight to sleep in the hotel bed, waking up briefly when Tom arrived to the room, fresh off his flight. I managed to get up to spend a little bit of time at the rehearsal dinner. Now it's Saturday, the day of David (Tom's youngest brother) & Erica's wedding, and I'm feeling better but still pretty drained. Tom and Rowan are off exploring the hotel and undoubtedly getting lots of oohs and aahs from adoring family members. I'm all schlumpy; should probably shower soon. But first I had to write about the song that was playing in the hotel yesterday when I checked in.

It was "Smoky Mountain Rain," recorded by Ronnie Milsap a long time ago. I know it was a long time ago because it was one of the records Grammies used to keep in her living room next to a seriously antique turntable that Julie and I used to love to play. We would sometimes break out the Frank Sinatra, but my very favorite was that Ronnie Milsap album, and specifically "Smoky Mountain Rain." I remember the smell of Grammies' house, the raspy sound of that turntable playing back that song, the way I would lie on the red carpet and imagine the man in the song waving down a big rig truck and begging him to drive as fast as possible because the love of this man's life was "somewhere in the Smoky Mountain rain." Sometimes it made me cry; I guess I was only 5 or so when I first started listening. Looking back, even though I haven't grown up to be a big fan of country music, I'm pretty sure those moments were part of why I was so enthusiastic about becoming a musician myself. I realized there were some stories that could really only fully be told in song, and I wanted to be able to tell those stories. I wouldn't win any big competitions, but I do tell those stories through my music today, and I am thankful.

I was glad to have this vivid flashback to times with my Grammies on this weekend when Rowan is being surrounded by the love of his grandparents and great-grandparents. While I was sick, Meemaw, Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa had about a day and a half of being in full charge of Rowan. I hear they rode valet carts around the hotel, ate a lot of waffles, wandered through Wal-Mart just for the exercise, and as Grandpa put it, "Stayed really busy doing nothing!" I wish I could have been there. These are moments to savor, folks.

Oh, and last but not least: Congratulations, David and Erica!

Rowan is nearing two years old, and he displays unmistakable signs of establishing his own independence. Mostly these involve wanting to exert control over what he can in the world...you know, they call it the "terrible twos". For a while now we've had a pretty successful strategy for certain things: let him have his tantrum knowing he'll recover quickly and be ready to play, for example. Trying to interrupt the tantrum and divert him only prolonged the suffering. We've been having increasingly long battles, though, over everyday tasks such as washing hands, brushing teeth, and changing diapers. Finally a couple of days ago I realized there was no need to be physically forcing him into submission for these things (which is what it seemed like I had to do if I wanted them to get accomplished). Rather, inspired by a partial-so-far reading of the discipline book our pediatrician recommended, I thought it would be better to see if I could motivate Rowan to do the things we wanted him to do by reminding him what would happen if he did the desired activity -- and then waiting until he made up his mind before proceeding with things. First, it was the teeth. I told him that unless he let me brush his teeth willingly (meaning without me having to pin him in my lap, pry his mouth open, and brush), he wouldn't get to hold the toothbrush himself afterward. This worked! He's letting me brush his teeth now and then when I'm done he says, "Row? Hold?" and he gets to hold the toothbrush. It's working with other things too; for diaper changes, rather than wrestle with him kicking and twisting, I lay him on the changing table, and at the first sign of protest I simply stop the diaper changing process and tell him that when he is still, I will finish and then he will be able to get down and play. We're a few diaper changes into this technique now, and he's quickly improving because I think he realizes all that's going to happen with his fussing is for him to have to lay there longer. The first diaper change like that took about fifteen minutes.

The hardest change so far was for lunch today when Rowan had been playing outside and needed to wash his hands before eating. Uncle Tim was over and we all had a tasty plate of lunch ready to eat. Uncle Tim and I sat down and started eating, but because Rowan had run away screaming from the idea of handwashing, he wasn't allowed to get into his high chair to eat. It took about fifteen minutes of him walking off, playing a bit, coming back, asking to eat, me telling him we had to wash his hands first, him running off to play some more, etc. until finally, once he realized neither Mommy nor Uncle Tim was going to feed him until he was clean, he submitted, tears in his eyes but with no physical resistance, to a quick handwashing, after which he clapped and declared, "Yay! Eat!"

Obviously while he was an infant we treated him like one. This meant responding to most of his requests by meeting them because they were generally sincere expressions of things he needed. That, however, is no longer the case. He asks for things we can't give him, often says he wants one thing only to see someone get up and get it for him after which he admits he didn't want it in the first place, and he shows signs of enjoying getting his Mommy a bit riled up. The good news for everyone is that the adults in this relationship are wise to these games now! Aaah, yes. Feel the winds of change. :-)

A new favorite game around the house is hide-and-seek. We've realized Rowan informs us he is hiding by shouting, "Hidee!" Then, we pretend not to know where he is while we search in vain through closets, under chairs, and the like. Thankfully he has started to mix up his hiding places, and even sometimes he doesn't hide in plain sight, but for a while after Daddy brought home this new tent it was Rowan's hiding spot with 100% certainty...

I know, I know -- two posts in one day? What's up with that? Well, what's up is that Erin just sent me this hilarious picture of Rowan bottle-feeding a "calf". (This reminds me, I really have to do something about the sound my Blackberry makes when it gets a multimedia message. It currently sounds like a fire alarm. I'm glad I didn't wet my pants.)

Aaaaaaanyway, apparently the very-resourceful Erin had no trouble finding a rainy day activity today; she took the boys to a park nearby that is featuring a special exhibit about farming over the past century. Great idea!

We do have family adventures, you know, it's just that when Rowan is with Ms. Erin, she takes pictures on her camera phone and sends them to me. No mussing about with uploading pictures from our camera at home. So, I couldn't resist letting you see this awesome shot of Rowan and Ander playing on the boats at the park today! Look at that smile, would ya'? He sure looks like a "big boy."