Alder started the same Spanish immersion preschool that Rowan goes to. They both go in the mornings, and Rowan stays a few afternoons too while Alder comes home. Tom is home with Alder some afternoons, and Kristy is home with him the other afternoons. Alder has taken to preschool like a duck to water. He loves the other kids, sleeps well there all swaddled up in his dedicated little crib, eats like a champ, and smiles at his teachers. It's really a great feeling to know that for a few hours each day he's in a loving and very stimulating environment where he's starting to learn a second language already. Rowan is still thriving there too, working on reading and writing and having lots of fun (with the occasional mischief)! I don't think he's going to be the kind of child like his dad (never ever in trouble), maybe a little more like his mom (I didn't get into any serious trouble, but I was a bit of a chatterbox...imagine that...and sometimes got my "name on the board" for it)!

At home, the boys have such a great relationship. Rowan loves to help with Alder anytime we ask (I don't think he has ever turned down a "would you like to...." when it involved an opportunity to be a big brother). I love to see them snuggle up on the couch together, to hear Rowan talking to Alder in the back of the car when we go someplace, and to see Alder try to mimic Rowan in the bathtub. Wow, what a huge blessing these little guys are!

Well, I'm out of time for now. Off to work!]]> http://fretless.us/2012/01/happy_2012_andwhew.html http://fretless.us/2012/01/happy_2012_andwhew.html Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:57:30 -0500 ]]> http://fretless.us/2011/11/happy_thanksgiving_3.html http://fretless.us/2011/11/happy_thanksgiving_3.html Thu, 24 Nov 2011 13:45:00 -0500 ]]> http://fretless.us/2011/11/video_of_alders_homecoming_1.html http://fretless.us/2011/11/video_of_alders_homecoming_1.html Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:55:45 -0500 As you can see from this photo of Alder in his carseat, he sometimes isn't too happy to be in there. Usually it's the first five minutes of him being in it and then he goes to sleep, but sometimes he persists with screaming for a longer period of time (for example, the entire way home from the hospital)! The truth is, there's no use in trying to comfort him: shushing, rocking, offering a pacifier...we've tried everything, and nothing works. You just have to give him a few minutes to scream, and then he's fine.

Today at Alder's speech therapist appointment (no, he doesn't stutter -- she's helping him learn to nurse) I had my hands full: car seat, diaper bag, baby. After changing his diaper I decided to go ahead and buckle him in the car seat before paying at the front, so that I wouldn't be trying to hold him while I dig out my wallet, sign the receipt, and so forth. I knew he would cry, but this is a pediatric dysphagia clinic; they hear crying all the time, right? I didn't really feel like I had a practical choice.

I got up to the counter with my screaming baby in his carseat, set him down right next to me on the floor, and handed the lady behind the counter my credit card. Within about 20 seconds, one of the nurses came out and sweetly started talking to Alder, trying to get him to stop crying. Then a few more seconds of screaming and a second lady came out, perhaps an office assistant, who noticed that there was a pacifier in Alder's car seat. She picked it up and offered it to him persistently. (I was of course standing just about two inches from Alder's carseat, seemingly unaffected by his screaming, I'm sure.) I told her the pacifier wouldn't work, but she kept on trying. Finally they were both there in his face, rocking the seat, talking to him, obviously trying to spare themselves or me the stress of hearing a baby wail in such agonizing tones (and at agonizing volume)! He just kept on screaming, oblivious.

Finally I was done paying. I had patiently awaited an itemized receipt so I could file with my flexible spending account, and I calmly paraded out the door carrying my 7-pound screamer. Anybody just observing me would probably think I was deaf, to be able to seemingly ignore my baby's cries so completely. But I'm not deaf. I've just gotten to know my baby a little, and I'm old enough not to care what anybody thinks of us. :) ]]> http://fretless.us/2011/10/i_am_that_woman.html http://fretless.us/2011/10/i_am_that_woman.html Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:46:39 -0500 I say that God has mercifully reminded me not to expect anything to be the same between Rowan and Alder, by having my pregnancy, labor, and deliveries be dramatically different from each other! Just a few examples. With Rowan I couldn't stand the smell of coffee; with Alder I probably drank three cups a day (mostly decaf) because I couldn't get enough of that wonderful scent and flavor. With Rowan I didn't exercise at all; with Alder I was still biking through the state park just a few days before he was born. Rowan's delivery was essentially painless (thanks to a very nice epidural, of course) and stress-free; Alder's was very painful (despite a very nice epidural) and his heart rate was dipping so low, we knew we could be whisked away to the operating room at a moment's notice.

The big difference we're dealing with now is eating. With Alder, I was full of confidence from nursing Rowan successfully for more than 10 months (until he refused to nurse anymore). But it was clear in the hospital that Alder was going to present challenges -- his tongue seemed almost unable to go where it was supposed to, to generate suction. Unfortunately this became a huge problem the night after we got discharged from the hospital, when I realized that Alder was essentially not getting any of the milk I was producing. A Saturday morning visit to the pediatrician confirmed it: Alder had lost only 8 ounces during his first 48 hours, but had lost another 5 ounces in just 24 hours. Follow-ups with pediatrician, lactation consultant, and a pediatric dysphagia specialist have confirmed that Alder is basically unable to operate his tongue in the necessary way to nurse. Sigh.

So, my life currently includes pumping breastmilk every three hours, and giving it to Alder in a bottle with a special nipple to help train his sucking. We have to precede that bottle feeding (and interrupt it sometimes if his form slips into bad habits) with some special tongue exercises. Thankfully within just a couple of days of that scary checkup where his weigh had dipped to 6 pounds 5 ounces, another check showed that he was back up to 6 pounds 11 ounces (1 ounce higher than his hospital discharge weight) so our next pediatrician visit will be for his routine 2-week checkup. Here's a picture of him on the scale when we got the good news that his weight was back up and we were out of the woods. We're really hoping that the therapy will have a good outcome, and that he'll be able to nurse soon. ]]> http://fretless.us/2011/10/differences_and_challenges.html http://fretless.us/2011/10/differences_and_challenges.html Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:18:05 -0500 Perhaps the first kind of perspective is knowing how short this exhausting newborn time will really seem in retrospect. That reminds me that even the 2am feeding is positively precious, and I won't be robbed of savoring it. The second kind of perspective, though, I was not expecting. In contrast to the "I have done this before" view that comes from Alder being my second baby, I also have the "I probably will never do this again" that comes from him beingg our last planned baby. That combination is a powerful one indeed.

I'm so blessed to have this opportunity, to be mother to these beautiful children, and to treasure each second with both of them.

Now, since Dad is not benefitting from the hormones helping to give me such a happy outlook, I'll see about getting him some coffee.... :)]]> http://fretless.us/2011/10/perspective.html http://fretless.us/2011/10/perspective.html Thu, 13 Oct 2011 06:09:17 -0500 ]]> http://fretless.us/2011/10/hes_here_1.html http://fretless.us/2011/10/hes_here_1.html Wed, 12 Oct 2011 15:35:08 -0500 ]]> http://fretless.us/2011/10/any_day_now.html http://fretless.us/2011/10/any_day_now.html Mon, 03 Oct 2011 13:28:46 -0500 The new baby is due October 12th, and since Rowan came ten days early I'm definitely starting to feel that "ticking time bomb" feeling...you know, the one where you are hesitant to schedule anything because it seems pretty likely that you'd just have to cancel the plans anyway. Oh, and we've been busy making final preparations for Alder (assembling things, bringing necessary supplies and clothes out of storage, and banking up on sleep whenever possible). So we missed some pictures of the day, but check them out -- one was posted rather retroactively. :) Also, if you aren't friends with us on facebook, you might want to consider it since we can post photos so easily from our mobile phones there. It's possible that our facebook friends will have several hours' lead time on the news of Alder's birth compared to this blog. ]]> http://fretless.us/2011/09/life_an_update.html http://fretless.us/2011/09/life_an_update.html Tue, 27 Sep 2011 10:40:02 -0500 Rowan asked for markers and paper, and ten minutes later showed me this drawing. He explained every part of it. It's Mommy, and above her head are fireworks of different shapes: some square fireworks, some stars, and some regular ones. Also a fish tank with minnows. Mommy is wearing earrings and carrying a book. And those five circles on Mommy's tummy? Those are Alder's toes kicking inside Mommy's belly! So there you have it; the new baby will be named Alder Russell Boyer. He is an extremely active baby at almost 8 months gestation; he kicks around so much that it's visible on a regular basis from several feet away (so I'm told). Rowan loves talking to Alder, feeling him kick, and telling him, "Oh baby brother, I love you so much!" ]]> http://fretless.us/2011/08/new_baby_boyer_has_a_name.html http://fretless.us/2011/08/new_baby_boyer_has_a_name.html Fri, 26 Aug 2011 16:59:38 -0500 Aside: Rowan just woke up, and he's sitting at the top of our stairs. He said, "Mommy, I had a dream. I dreamt that we saw our old minivan again. I didn't have any of those big-dragons-killing-me dreams that I have sometimes. I think it is because before I went to sleep Daddy prayed for me."

Anyway, we test drove just about every minivan out there, and a really cute Ford crossover that I loved (and could have gotten in turbo!) but ultimately just would not have met the practical goals that I held equally important to the fun goals. We've ended up buying a Honda Odyssey, in a day-long marathon of activity that itself turned out to be quite an adventure. We spent so much time with the salesperson Natalie that I had to snap her picture while she was gassing up our new van! Rowan wants you to know that he was inside that van while she was putting gas in it. :)